Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
