susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
