i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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