Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
