Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
babies were throwing up all over the place
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize