idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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