God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
