Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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