i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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