You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
