whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
