So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize