Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
