See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
