Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
