Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
literally had 100 drinks last night.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Barsexuality is the new black.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
