PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
