I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
