My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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