how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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