Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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