I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
