they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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