I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize