i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
