You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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