were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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