4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
