How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
false alarm. still invincible.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
