I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
