So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
