Can i not drive my cunt home
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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