Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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