Betty ford says i'm here all night
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
