You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize