theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
