i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
