Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
