I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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