I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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