Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
