my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
