i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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