it hurts more in the daytime
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
