at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
