she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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