if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
