Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
