Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
