my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
