Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i now understand why vodka
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
