One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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