You're a womanizer and a bitch.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
