i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
