Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
how drunk are you?
Several
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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