so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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