Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
