Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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