return my video game
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
