Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
